control!

not understanding and comprehending the nature of upbringing a child, i can only worry for the coming generations on my countrymen. yesterday after my training and hving dinner with my team mates, i took the mrt home from clementi. thats where it all started.
i sat opposite a mother with her son and daughter. indian family. could tell that the daughter was slightly older than her brother. man...the boy made such a ruckass on the train. as in really way out of control. he threw the crayon across the seats from where he was and just made loads of noise. and b4 u knw it...he was on the ground mumbling to himself. only to realise that i believe he was either drooling or licking the floor! eeeewwww! mother could only carry him to control him physically... seeing this in front of me was like...gdness!
highlighting this issue is the fact that children must be controlled no matter what. parents must be harsh if necessary. no chance given if u wan a gd child 4 yaself and e country. i worry for my future and the kind of pple unimaginable. the inablility to take simple hardship. and then again, too soft-hearted to discipline. i elaborate this issue to all families of all races and religions, as this is a growing concern and issue here.
what can i stand to gain from this?

the tried...

which part of the life we does it not make sense? the part where we may find ourselves not where we're placed to be? or isit that everything that we try so hard to make sense out of our will and logic appears to be absurd in the eyes of others?
for everything we have tried, well at least i have tried, i sit and while typing out this msg, im watching the channel 5 news. im trying, but im feeling really misplaced. its like as though i wasnt suppose to exist in the 21st century but rather the 20th century. its true, haiz, im not very sure how to put it. im like what u could call a chameleon who has problems blending in with the other creatures. with that kind of a problem, its hard to be in the "in" thing. yes, it can be said that its just the downside of life. but having seen what others enjoy that i cant now, the feeling of "it" can really get to you. yea, pple will just say that it'll be blown off and soon die out. u knw...thats pretty hard to say man. these days, i cant really say whats right and whats wrong, tho i sometimes just shoot off what im not suppose to say. me bad....
alot of things are held questionable in today's society... and with some regard of the proceedings... the most important is what the audience thinks? judgemental/biasness/impartial? etc...

so how far are we willing to go destroy ourselves?

the fallen

the night has finally fallen on me. i am swept back into the beginning and everything would seem dead once more. for every thing ive tried, it has failed.
now, im reminded of the trilogy movie, the matrix reloaded. it comes to a scene when neo finally meets the architect of the matrix. the truth gets too shocking having realised the "world in his own image" was rebooted about 6 times. and all because of a decision to be made to save himself and zion.
i am now that person standing in front of the screens that will possibly portray my very next move. i am in that room, reflecting my past systems that had been rebooted. trapped and nowhere to go, i do feel at times that i have no sense of belonging at all. to me, it is deemed difficult to adapt into the environment that moulds into one in their own image. it is painful, painful.
it is as what i gave an earlier post, about my cards. i am but a greyish figure, the cards i hold do not like me, and have flown away.... now night has fallen on this card game. the other players have left. just me left in that circle.

it hurts to live in today's society.....

trying to change for the better seems unappreciated.....bye