and it was said that in time, everything will go away. both good, and bad.. im not sure if im suppose to feel assured by that. well, if you've had bad recollections, then surely u'll want it to go away. on the other hand, if it was something so close to you? thats something you'll want to hold on to. then is time such a terrible process? wouldnt that be an immense amount of pain in your heart and mind? that would be akin to waking up everyday without remembering what happened the day before. sometimes i just wished that were me. too much is the cost of hurt in me. around and in me, it goes. it feels. then it swells... then the overwhelming of troubleness sets in. . . . how in the world can things like this be settled... for some of us yea we do have faiths and beliefs to hang onto. but u'll knw that at the very end of the day, it comes right back at ya. no matter how much time u meditate upon the issue at hand, trying to find a resolve seems unlikely.... do bear in mind, that this is likely to happen if we have something or someone missing in ourselves... but imagine having to carry on with this at hand in the coming days ahead if a resolve is unlikely, what will u do?

e wrong msg?

it what appears the life we're having, perhaps does not necessarily reflect who we actually are? maybe...
i think about what had been happening in the last few wks of my time of life n concluding it may be diffcult, they say that an artist's painting tells a thousand words. i believe such a thing cos to some extent, i love art. it shows the unending crossing boundaries of ideas, impressions and conclusions. its hard to depict the actual idea cos the artist wants pple to guess... a challenge indeed.
i really wonder especially myself, cos i always to find out things the hard way... well, pple i knw have very different views of me, some r gd, some r bad, some r nuts, some r kinda hard to describe. i dont knw what i want exactly...am i a mistaken picture that gets my frens and pple wrong about me? does the thousand words i express to em out there actually give the wrong message? up till this day, im still wondering why i exist tho that seems like a very silly question to say... haiz

to b continued? perhaps when im more inspired to finish this...